Man + Wife, Not Man vs. Wife

Today's world seems to have a skewed view of marriage and casts it in a negative light. As I look forward to my own union in the very near future, my focus is on the great realities of marriage and why God created it. At it's core, marriage is between one man and one woman and is an institution ordained by God to be an example of His love for the church. When we look at marriage through this lens, we see the intentionality and sacrifice required for this union.

We see this concept being illustrated in Ephesians 5:28-32 (NLT) when Paul writes:

In the same way, husbands ought to love their wives as they love their own bodies. For a man who loves his wife actually shows love for himself. No one hates his own body but feeds and cares for it, just as Christ cares for the church. And we are members of his body. As the Scriptures say, “A man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one." This is a great mystery, but it is an illustration of the way Christ and the church are one.

Just as we are one with Christ, so we become one with our spouse through marriage. The issue I have seen with this concept today has to do with the view that marriage is oppressing or degrading. While it is binding, that bond is created to be one of sacrificial love, not oppression. It is meant to be an everlasting safe place, not a prison.

Another great biblical aspect of marriage is partnership. God said it was not good for man to be alone, so He created a helper for him - woman (Genesis 2:18). When God created woman He did so by taking a rib from the man. Genesis 2:24 (NIV) tells us "Then the LORD God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man. The man said, This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called ‘woman,’ for she was taken out of man. That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh." This is a beautiful picture of the connection that marriage creates, and how spouses are intertwined.

In addition to woman being made from the body of man, we see partnership take place in the varying roles of a man and a woman. 1 Corinthians 11:3 tells us that "...the head of every man is Christ, the head of a wife is her husband, and the head of Christ is God." (ESV) Many passages in the bible instruct the husband to love his wife (Ephesians 5:25, Ephesians 5:28, Colossians 3:19), but we are also told "For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior." (Ephesians 5:23, ESV) While modern society tries to take this role that is created to be protective and make it oppressive, we see God's desire for the man to be a strong leader of the household. This does not mean tyranny, it is a privilege of leadership. On the other side of the coin, Ephesians 5:22,24 reads "For wives, this means submit to your husbands as to the Lord... As the church submits to Christ, so you wives should submit to your husbands in everything." (NLT) God created man and woman with the precise design He did for a reason. Men were created to lead and protect women (1 Timothy 2:11-15). Men and women aren't meant to be at odds with each other, but instead to complement one another.

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Remember that in all things marriage is a pure and holy gift, so treat it as such! Not only is it a gift, it is also a responsibility - a tie that is made to be bound for life, so take it just as seriously. I am so grateful for the strong and capable partner my sweet Benjamin is, and it is the honor of my life to be his helper. Thank you God for this gift, may You bless it and may we lay it at Your feet with every breath.

"Enjoy life with the wife whom you love, all the days of your vain life that he has given you under the sun, because that is your portion in life and in your toil at which you toil under the sun." (Ecclesiastes 9:9, ESV)