Over It

Something I hate doing is complaining, but it’s something I’ve been doing a lot of lately. it’s so easy, like pushing a snowball down a hill. Once you start it’s hard to stop.

To give you some insight into my laundry list of complaints at the moment:

• I’ve been sick for months and we can’t figure out why I’m not getting better

• I’ve got doctor bills piling up from trying to figure it out

• Apparently my insurance doesn’t want to help out at all

• Grad school tuition is eating me out of house and home

• I haven’t slept well in months

• My car is on the verge of breaking down

• I'm exhausted

• I'm worn out

• I'm done

• I'm over it.

Whooo, way to bring the mood down huh?

And all the things on that list are legitimate, and there are probably half a dozen more I didn’t even list. but you know what two things I keep trying to remind myself of?

1. Everybody’s got something

2. God's got me

My list of complaints does not surprise or scare Him. He cares about each one.

Just the other day I found myself saying “man could this get any worse? I don’t think I can handle anything else. it’s just one hit after another…” This made me think about Job.

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Job literally lost everything

• his livestock

• his servants

• his children

• his health

Compared to Job I’m sitting pretty. But it’s not even about comparison, it’s about attitude. This is how he responded to his losses:

“Job stood up and tore his robe in grief. Then he shaved his head and fell to the ground to worship…. In all of this, Job did not sin by blaming God” (Job 1:20,22)

Let’s dissect this. First of all, Job didn’t go around with a fake smile pretending that everything was ok, HE WAS MOURNING! And outwardly so! He expressed his anguish at all he had endured. Secondly and probably most important he was worshipping in his suffering! What an incredible heart posture.

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My pastor recently gave a sermon on asking God questions when we’re in a confusing time, and he said “it’s not wrong to ask 'why', just don’t stay there.” God wants to hear from us, and He already knows how we’re feeling so yeah be honest with Him. Tell Him you don’t like your circumstances and you’re hurting, but don’t forget to thank Him for all He’s done and for the goodness to come. He cares more than anyone, I promise.

Job 35:13-14 says “But it is wrong to say God doesn’t listen, to say the Almighty isn’t concerned. You say you can’t see Him, but He will bring justice if you will only wait.”

I find myself asking God "why" a lot. God why did you take me off course, God why am I so sick and can’t get better, God why is this happening I don’t understand. and He’s listening. He has an answer, we just can’t always see it right away.

So 90% of the reason I’m writing this is for myself. I’m stuck on a hamster wheel of complaining and I need something to bring me to a halt. So I’m looking at truth. I’m looking at God's character and I’m looking at Job.

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Another thing my pastor once suggested that I find helpful is writing out a list of everything you’re thankful for; and dig deep. At the end you’ll probably have a lot bigger list than you originally thought, and your attitude will probably be a little better :)