"The Church Hated Me So I Hate God"

I can't tell you how many times I've heard this. Too many, that's for sure.

First let me say that I am sorry if any of you reading this have been hurt by the people who are called to love; we often get it wrong. Ephesians 4 tells us to "Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you." (v. 31-32; NLT)

It is a pretty simple concept in theory, so how do we get it so wrong?! Jesus literally commanded us to love one another, “This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you." (John 15:12) Well, I believe there are 2 sides to the coin on this one

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We need to start from the beginning and learn how to love well, and we love well by loving like Jesus loved. Thankfully, we have an entire book full of examples of His love towards us and His interactions with nonbelievers! The most important thing to note from this section is that truth is love. One does not exist without the other. In the story of Jesus and the woman at the well in John 4 (the passage this entire website is inspired by!) Jesus meets a woman and takes the time to talk to and get to know her. The next thing He does is acknowledge her sin. He does not condemn her or cast her out, but He also does not allow her to live in a false reality of believing her sin is okay. He does not affirm her sin for the sake of being popular. That is not loving.

As Christians, we are called to take the same approach. Meet people where they are. We are all fallen and all sinful, no one is "better" than anyone else. We all need God's grace and not a single one of us deserves it. So why does it seem the church withholds the very grace they've received? Simple, sin.

Everyone's experience with being hurt by the church is their own, but sin is the root of it all. Jesus had a habit of calling this out in the religious community. In John 8 we see Him stop the Pharisees from stoning an adultress woman. His response to their accusations against her was "All right, but let the one who has never sinned throw the first stone!" (John 8:1-11; NLT), and they dropped their stones one by one and left. What a moment! It is not our job to judge and condemn (don't let this confuse you and think it is okay to ignore/gloss over sin either). After stepping in to rescue her Jesus then said "Go and sin no more" (v.11). He loved her, so he told her the truth!

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Now for the second side of that coin we were talking about...

For the unbeliever who has been hurt, I challenge you to come face to face to why you felt hurt. Was it because the church disagreed with your stance on a particular topic, and you did not like the opposition? Or was it because the church was legitimately unloving? Both are possible, but only one is wrong. As Christians, we live for the honor and glory of one God, and we are called to boldly proclaim His message knowing it is unpopular in a secular world. As a Christian, I will never apologize for preaching the truth of the gospel. But also as a Christian, I aim to do so in love, not in hate or rejection.

So where do we go from here?

Believers: forgive and be a better example Matthew 5:44

Nonbelievers: give Jesus a fair chance, and don't allow the mistakes of man to keep you from His love and grace

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I posted a question box on my Instagram story a while ago, and the answers from there and that I have received in face-to-face conversations look something like this:

"I hate going to church because of the people"

"I don't have a problem with Jesus, I have a problem with 'Jesus People'"

"I hate religion and want nothing to do with it because of how I was treated by Christians"

Let's do a better job of making the church a place people are drawn to, not cower away from. The solution to this is not to adopt worldly ideologies to be popular or seem inclusive. It means getting back to the basics of Jesus' command to love one another, and love one another in truth. If the world is going to hate us let them hate us for our message, not how we deliver it.